In my two last blogs, I shared honestly and transparently about:
HANDS DOWN! My Most Challenging Moment In Ministry!
I shared the “Laundry Room Revelation” when my perspective was forever changed about the sacrificial INVESTMENT that God called me to and led me through for my husband and children!
I shared the “MOM For Sale Moment” when our teenage son grew SOOO frustrated with me during difficult challenges that he tried to sell me on e-Bay! I learned that the commitment to INVEST had to be backed up with a commitment to INTERCEDE for my husband and children! One without the other is just good intentions.
The hardest prayer battles that I have been in, have been for them. It is no small thing to contend for their faith, pray for their protection, and believe God’s love and plan for their purpose in life, evenwhen all seems lost.
But my lessons do not end there!! Nope! God had more things to teach me from my children!
Talia is our youngest, and she has shared with me recently that she grew up grateful that I was to her, “My Mom NOT My Friend!” As the youngest, she had the advantage of watching and learning from her older brother and sister!
She witnessed her big sister, Tara, who had been kind of a second mother to her, grow into a competitive swimmer, sing on the youth praise team, compete and place in a pageant, move to Colorado to pursue her faith in a prayer internship, and marry a Godly man. She chose their dating standard for her own life by saving her first kiss for her wedding day!
She witnessed her brother who had been a sweet boy who most of the time was happy to play with her, grow into a gifted drummer, guitarist, and vocalist. By age fourteen, he was leading praise at our church youth group. He has now become that Godly man, married to a Godly woman! She always respected his gifts and he has had great influence on her musical abilities!
But, Talia saw when there were conflicts of all kinds between me and Tara, and me and Nate. Specifically, she recalled a very intense fight between Nate and me because it was the first time that she saw me lose my cool, and it scared her. But it has influenced how she resolves conflict in her own life.
We were in the car getting ready to go somewhere and Nate started a fight with me before we even got out of the driveway. So I put the car in park, shut it off, and got out. He got out and started yelling so I threw my keys at him - HARD! Thankfully, I didn’t hurt him, but he screamed at me, “I HATE YOU!”
We went into the house and he continued to yell at me in front of her. I told him to go to his room so that I could cool down before I would say or do something I would certainly regret. He did. I grabbed the broom and began to sweep the kitchen floor to calm down and pray through how to handle this situation. About twenty minutes later I went upstairs to Nate’s room, knocked on his door and asked him if I could come in and talk with him. It took a while but we talked, apologized, and forgave one another for our failures in this fight. Once again, we were able to say, “I love you” and mean it.
She remembered the pain that she saw from both of us as she quietly and tearfully watched all of this play out. But she also saw my personal conviction to live out what I had been teaching her, her brother and sister: to work at making peace and being reconciled. In all of this she saw that I was living the vital MOM role - not friend role.
While I didn’t know that Talia was processing all of this at the time, I now understand that someone is always watching your life and listening to your words to see if you live what you say you believe! We always have a decision to make about the right thing to do and then do it!
Let's begin to do this by putting these values to work in our lives:
(Invest in your children sacrificially for a later Return on that Investment.)
(PRIMARY MINISTRY - Covenant relationships)
(Have faith in God’s word through praying it for your children. Fighting For Them - Not Against Them)
(CONTEND FOR THEIR FAITH)
(Influence comes by way of integrity in the way that we talk about and do life. The consistency and value of integrity is living what you say you believe.)
(SACRIFICING FOR YOUR FAMILY - NOT SACRIFICING YOUR FAMILY )
Talia appreciated that I stepped into the Mom Role instead of the Friend Role to give guidance from what I taught her in the way that I lived my daily life and the conviction to live that out in a very explosive situation! My relationship with Nate could have been badly damaged and that lesson that has influenced her in her relationships could have been lost if God’s teaching and grace hadn’t guided me!
I hope that these lessons that I have learned from that first decision, will help you:
HANDS DOWN! My Most Challenging Moment In Ministry Part 1, 2, and 3!