We all have had one of THOSE days! You know - the kind of day that starts off rough for one reason or another - or maybe we went to sleep offended and just woke up angry! It can make us and everyone else around us miserable...if we let it define us and consume our thoughts, words, and actions!
I had one of THOSE days this morning! Since I am a verbal processor, I was talking to myself while looking in the mirror, doing my hair and make-up. I was speaking as though I was having a conversation with the person that I was struggling with. This person is someone that I love and respect, so as I practiced my “talk” with them, of course I tried to be cautious of their feelings as I mentally calculated their possible responses.
The further I got into this conversation with myself, I noticed that it became more and more about how “I” was feeling; what“I” thought was happening;“MY” understanding of what they were dealing with; that they should listen to “ME” and take into account “MY” feelings! (Have you ever done that?)
So...I stopped talking. I just stopped and replayed the things in my head that I just spoke out loud in the privacy of my bathroom. As I stood there looking into the mirror, I asked myself 3 key questions that changed everything:
1 - “What is the TRUTH about this situation?”
The truth is that I have made this a far bigger issue than it really is. I, NOT THEM, chose to magnify it and make it something that it wasn’t. The chances are that they didn’t even know that there was an issue.
2 - “What is TRUE about me?”
-I am not only a believer in Christ, I am a follower and a student of Christ. If I say that I believe in His word, then I need to live like I believe Him and take Him at His word. What He says about me and how I am to treat others.
-I can be WRONG! My emotions can mislead me if I don’t thoughtfully consider what the truth about any situation is. If I make decisions ONLY from my feelings I know that I will continuously misunderstand others and be misunderstood myself. If I fail to give others the benefit of the doubt or refuse to believe the best about them, my natural reaction will always be to fire back to protect myself.
-I am a peacemaker in my heart and I don’t like it when there is dis-ease or conflict between me and anyone. Because peace is what I strive for, I work to make it. I don’t like confrontation but I am not afraid of it and if used with care, it can be a tool to mend the relationship.
-I process privately first so that I don’t go into any confrontation with “Guns a blazing!”
3 - “How would I want to be treated if they were upset or struggling with me?”
-I would want them to pray for me and ask God to help me where they see me failing or disappointing Him and/or them.
-I would want the opportunity to have an honest conversation with them. I don’t like to be talked about, I would rather be talked to.
-I would like to work through the TRUTH of any issue there might be and bring clarity to any misunderstandings or miscommunication on either side of it.