Do you remember being a kid and wanting to run away? Maybe you were in trouble and wanted to dodge the punishment. Maybe you were scared of something that happened and didn’t want to tell. Or maybe you just felt like you didn’t belong and wanted to find a place where you did.
I remember a time like that in my own life! I don’t remember what happened that made me want to leave (it was probably something one of my three brothers said or did!), I told my mom I was going to pack my bag and move in with my best friend...who lived across the street!
In her wisdom, mom didn’t try to talk me out of it. Instead she offered to help me pack! Now that was a strange turn of events! Definitely not what I had in mind! I thought I would be breaking her heart! I didn’t want her help, I wanted her to miss me!
So she helped alright! She loaded up my suitcase so heavy that I couldn’t carry it because I was only six and the suitcase that I chose to pack was bigger than me - as were the lies that I was believing that made me want to leave!
Have you ever felt that way? Even as adults there are days that is just where we are!
Today is one of them for me. A day when I just want to run away and be alone. My emotions have taken over and the truth has been silenced by them. The lies that I was listening to robbed me of hope and threatened my faith. The tears have come like a wall of waves that push me to my face on the floor, crashing over me so that I can no longer stand up under them. I feel like I am gasping for air as I struggle to get to my feet and get my head above it all. No sooner do I catch my breath then another wave crashes over me and the cycle begins again.
Even right now, this I KNOW:
I am not without hope and I am not without help!
There is One who is my Refuge and Helper, and sometimes His help comes in unusual ways. Today, for me, the Lord told me to SING! I didn’t feel like singing through the snot but I knew He could be trusted. The song that He brought to mind became my prayer, especially the second verse that says,
“I believe that the walls will start falling when we fall down on our knees.”
I wanted the crushing wall of tears to stop - so I started singing through the tears to Him.
The more that I sang, the more the words strengthened my heart and reset my focus. Here is what the chorus teaches me to do when I want to run away:
“As I bow before You Lord “ (Stop and humble myself, pray fervently)
I will rise in confidence” (Have faith in my God, in His word, promises, & character)
“I will see Your goodness, Lord, in the land I'm livin' in” (Speak His truth to myself & believe Him wholeheartedly)
No matter where I go, And no matter where I've been” (Always look for Him & pursue His truth)
“I will see your goodness, Lord, In the land I'm livin' in” (Speak His truth to myself & believe Him wholeheartedly)
I hate it when I struggle with wanting to run away because if I act on it, it doesn’t solve anything. It doesn’t comfort or help me or the people around me.
The truth is that we may want to run away from whatever hard thing we are dealing with, but the greater question is:
Where are we running to?
WHERE we choose to run to will determine HOW we come out on the other side. Let’s run to our Father, our Refuge, and trust that He sees us and will guide us to the other side of it. If we are listening to His truth with a teachable heart, we will learn, regain our senses, and our faith will be strengthened!
I don't want to run away anymore!
What makes you WANT TO RUN AWAY?
If you do want to run away, know where are you running to!